So majority of my posts surround my journey of motherhood focusing on the very aspect of mothering. However I noticed that I never focused on the actual person that is the mother.
A woman in relation to her child or children
Bring up (a child) with care and affection
(Especially as a title or form of address) the head of a female religious community
Give birth to
From personal experience I find that as a mother you get so wrapped up in mothering that you fail to self mother. By self mother I mean tend to your own needs.
In order for a mother to be successful at being the best she can be for her child(ren) she needs to be the best for herself. I know it’s easier said than done but it is truly an essential part of the motherhood formula.
We as mothers tend to lose ourselves from time to time which is perfectly ok. We even tend to suffer mum guilt when we are tending to our own needs. The reality is once you become a mother the innate emotion of selflessness sky rockets from 2 to about 2 billion.
A lot of times we suffer with what I like to call we don’t teach but do. Now what I mean by this is that we suffer with things we would never teach our child(ren), but find ourselves doing it.
- Can I do this? (Lack of confidence) you teach your child they can do anything if they put their mind to it
- Will others like it? (Affirmation from others) you teach your child to do things they want to do for themselves and not to please others
- Hmmmm, you know what forget it? (Self doubt) you teach your child to never give up before they’ve started, never to give up point blank, try try and try again
So when having these moments of we don’t teach but do think of the advice you would give to your child or the mantra you will install on your child (no child is too young to teach so no mother is too mother to do)
So here we are; we’ve overcome the negative thoughts of doubt, lack of confidence, affirmation from others, the mum guilt where do we go from here?
Things you can do to self mother
So I actually haven’t got a list of things to do what I do have is more points to reflect upon. (Yes reflection is the key! How many times do we look in the mirror when we are doing necessary things in our day?)
- What did I enjoy doing before becoming a mother
- How can I incorporate this into my routine
- Can I do this weekly? Fortnightly or monthly?
- Who can look after baby whilst I do this?
- Better yet while he/she naps I can do this for a few hours
- Is there something I’ve always wanted to learn how to do?
- There is so much house work to do, oh well it can wait till tomorrow
Sometimes you have to say au reviour to all routines and schedules and just stop! Look around and realise nothing drastic is going to happen if you do it later and just snuggle in your jammies all day tiptoeing over the toys. (Honestly try it, you’ll find nothing changes the world still goes on and you survive another day)
Earlier I said it’s part of the motherhood formula with that being said like a lot of mathematical equations no two formulas are the same. However the answer will be the same.
Photo credits: @jkgphotography
Why don’t I have a picture of myself as this is a self mother post, for the simple reason that I rarely pee by myself
– Mrs B